There were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in. I scowled at the world. And the world scowled back. We were locked in a state of mutual disgust.
-The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
This particular quotation has always held a special place in my heart. The whole novel speaks to me, but this particular line more so. I think I've always been more pessimistic than optimistic (glass is always half empty). I guess you could say it was all those years of being a teenager and then early 20s angst. As I get older, however, I realize that I'm much more relaxed, I stop to contemplate the little things much more often and I try to be as positive as possible. (I still get stressed and worry too much, but it's work in progress.)
I wanted to visit the blog just to connect with everyone since it's been sometime since I posted a review or featured a bookstore. I have yet to complete my review of Gillespie and I despite the fact that I absolutely loved it. Lately I've found (as so many others have expressed) that I have a harder time reviewing books I love over those that I don't necessarily enjoy. It's strange, but perhaps says something about my personality. I celebrated my 28th birthday and spent the weekend after Thanksgiving in a secluded cabin with J (who was also celebrating a birthday) in the mountains of North Carolina. We played scrabble, sat in front of a fake fire and actually took time to relax. It was perfect. (Beautiful cake from my mama!)
I was bummed to return to the routine even though there were so many things I was looking forward to doing. Generally, my days are filled with anxiety. Traffic in Atlanta is horrendous and makes anyone want to pull their hair out. My job revolves around helping people fix problems when they're on a deadline (which means they aren't always so nice) in front of large social audiences (so definitely not nice). And the sun seems to set just as I'm walking in the door which leaves me feeling tired. However, a few things have happened (it's the little things) this week that have made everything seem much more cheerful:
- Someone held the door for me at the coffee shop.
- A guy on the street told me to have a nice night when I was leaving the parking deck.
- I played trivia with my friends and conspired with the waiter (who gave us mostly wrong answers), which left us laughing.
- A man let me out in a long line of traffic after waiting for what seemed like forever (a rarity in Atlanta, indeed).
I love this time of year, but the grey sky and the early darkness always seem to affect me a little more than I remember.
This year has definitely been a tough one, but as it comes to a close I realize that I love everything that surrounds me. I'm so thankful for my friends, family and each and every bit that makes the world go round.
Perhaps this is a late Thanksgiving post. Or just a rant of sorts... as I'm prone to do. But I thought I could share my joys with you. Hopefully you're encountering people in the same spirit. If not, I hope you have the happiest of weeks!
I'd also like to share this video because it is the sweetest thing I've ever seen: